Stressful times like these bring out the worst and the best in people.

In my husband’s case, it also brings out something else altogether. Eric never ceases to surprise me. And that is usually a good thing.  In this case, Eric’s passionate distrust/skepticism of mainstream medicine  REALLY shows through.

If the AMA believes in something, he is against it.  If his doctor doesn’t support his “alternative cures”, that doctor is “towing the company line.” And don’t get him started on Big Pharma. I am open to listening (and sometimes even agreeing with him), but once in a while he surprises me with something that just confuses me, and this is one of those cases.  Makes for an interesting marriage, an interesting evening, and hopefully an interesting blog post.  Plus I mention Doug Henning AND Arnold Schwarzenegger—what more could you ask for?

It’s Science!

I made a huge mistake in admitting to my husband that I’ve had a sore throat the past few days.  He immediately diagnosed me with COVID-19, and an hour later crept up behind me as I sat and worked at my computer.

He leaned into my ear and whispered, “It’s time.” I jumped a little.

“For some sweet lovin’?” I was hopeful.

“No. For something to cure you.” He was positively solemn and just a bit giddy. I paused, and let him have his time to shine.

COPPERZAP!” he yelled.

With a flourish that would make Doug Henning proud, Eric produced, seemingly out of thin air, the item in question.  Five inches long, flat, and surprisingly heavy, it resembled a solid copper digital thermometer that had been fed through a pasta maker.

“Good Lord, what is that?” I was stunned.

“You stick it in as far as you can, and it kills all the viruses…” he started to explain.

I interrupted, “Please tell me that is inserted in an orifice in my face.”

“It goes in your nose, you goof.”  He shifted into lecture-mode. “You see, at the first sign of a cold, you stick this up your nose, as far as you can, spin it around, and it kills all the viruses and bacteria that it touches. Copper kills ‘em all. Do that for each nostril for a minute. You should feel instant relief.  From what I have read, you may feel a little electric zing and a metallic aftertaste.” He was happy to tell me all about it.

I told him, “I think it’s a load of garbage. I don’t trust anything that I have to stick up my nose to work.”

Plus many of the testimonials from their website were from people with no last names, which makes me leery:

“It Works!” – Kevin, Connecticut
“Far more powerful than I expected”—Kari, CT

(I guess Kevin could write out “Connecticut” but Kari was too busy sticking copper probes up her nose and preferred the two-letter abbreviation…)

Eric stared at me as if I was a Flat-Earther, visibly hurt at my skepticism.

“It’s SCIENCE.”  He was nothing if not confident.

In the interest of SCIENCE, I had to try it.  I felt a little like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the disturbing Total Recall “Bug Removal” scene, but instead of as self-guided mechanical robot thingy, I had Eric to lead the way as I tentatively inserted CopperZap.

“Farther! Farther! Farther!” He was cheering me on.

“Doesn’t go any farther!!” It was very uncomfortable yelling with a small metal bar in my sinuses. I think I was poking brain matter at that point.

After swizzling both nostrils, I took it out. My nose felt tingly and kind of stung a little.

“So how do you feel?” said Eric.

“I don’t know, it’s weird. How did you feel after you did it?” I asked

“I didn’t. There was no way I was sticking that thing up my nose until I saw what happened to you.”

What a nice husband, making his wife the test subject.

I can’t wait to send in my testimonial:

“My husband made me a CopperZap guinea pig!”—Elizabeth, PA